WAYNE Rooney could be shaking in his boots at the World Cup – because of fears of an earthquake.

 

http://www.manutd.com/default.sps?pagegid=%7B48C41513%2DA376%2D4D1F%2D981D%2D660FC5BB193E%7D&redirectorid=news_story&newsid=6646976

Yes. Twitter. I hear I'm amazing. I mean, it's amazing. 

 

http://twitter.com/david_moseley

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=6&art_id=vn20100217062211616C809058&page_number=2

 

So some kid, a card-carrying member of the ANC nogal, gets roughed up for 'flipping the bird' (not a penguin, his middle finger) at the president's convey. 

 

Naturally this makes the papers and the country's in the grips another crisis. Say what you like, but in the old days the Nats did things properly. If some protesting hippy had pulled the middle finger on an Apartheid-era official 30 years ago, the dude would have been whisked away to a nameless farm in the Klein Karoo so quickly, his folks would suffer time and memory displacement from the resulting sonic boom. No paper coverage, no headlines, no outrage. Just another death by 'slippery soap' in a Pretoria jail. 

 

Fucking ANC, they can't even be Fascists properly. There's just no hope. 

 

And yes, It's been a year since I've used this thing. I was dead, but I came back to life. Like Jesus, just with less Easter eggs. 

DM

Or are people who live online amazingly thick? I'm just asking. Honestly, I even warned people that today's column was complete and utter bull, and they still get sucked in. Even alleged 'medical doctors'. My word. 

One of my favourites. Yeats. Wonderful stuff. 

Wow, I forgot I actually still had this thing. 

I need a new fragrance. My last drop has been sprayed, and I'm starting to smell. 

I was using DKNY Apple and DKNY Original. I have plenty of Fahrenheit, but that's definitely an evening smell. 

I use to wear Davidoff Cool Waters, and i'm thinking of heading that way. But I'm not sure If I want to go forward or backwards. 

It's a tough decision. The amount of action my bedroom sees this weekend depends on it. 

Please help. 

 

What can I say. It's a slow day in the office.

Quiz time
R10 if any of you know what a neologism is, and which writer is famous for creating most of them. I'm gonna try and use/make-up as many as I can in next week's column.

PS
Colleen Figg is not allowed to answer the above question. If she does, she can't have the R10.

Just so my 31 loyal fans don't think I honestly surf all morning and work for 30 minutes a day, here I am, still in the office... but anyway...

You know what I hate?

I hate it when things come to an end. More specifically, relationships. I hate that feeling when you've gone from laughing, sharing, joking (and in-joking), making fun of people together, turning your noses up together at the same things, cracking the same tired old jokes that get a tired old laugh - not becuase they're funny anymore, but because the act of continuing with the same stupid joke has now become the joke. I hate it when all of that goes away. 

I hate it that we can fall out of love as abruptly as we fall in love.  

It really makes my heart sink. It makes my heart heavy and brittle and feeling not like it's sitting attached to anything in a ribcage, but rather like it's bobbing around aimlessly in the pit of my stomach. It has nowhere to go. Just floats around. Doing nothing, helping no one.
 
One morning you wake up with a nice girlfriend, then one morning you don't. It's enough to make you pull your heart out and replace it with a couple of ice blocks.

You can fill your free time with bravado in front of your friends. But lonely silence knows how you really feel. That's why it does it's best to keep so quiet when you're staring into space.

Heartache is a bummer, man. It really is. I honestly think I've only got one more in me, then that's me out. Out.